My social media posts, blogs, & personal conversations are not meant to change minds – they rarely do. Rather, I seek to provoke a conversation that promotes mutual understanding. I am saddened, but not often surprised, when the conversations descend into verbal warfare.
James warned, “…the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; … a restless evil and full of deadly poison” (3:6-8).
Angry conversations reveal hearts in conflict and are the seed of violence. An ancient sage declared, “…one who speaks rashly [is] like the thrusts of a sword” (Prov. 12:18a). Jesus warned that harsh words are worthy of hell (Matthew 5:22).
So what is the remedy for toxic conversations? Again, the ancient sage said, “The tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18b). Likewise, James declared, “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom” (3:13).
Understanding leads to empathy and compassion. I don’t have to agree with my opponent, but I must respect him. I must not summarily dismiss my opponent’s argument, I must patiently engage her. May God give us the discipline and wisdom to tame our fiery tongues so that our message will be seasoned with gentleness. In the end, minds may not be changed; but an opponent becomes a friend. That’s my concept of victory.
