Too often our PASSION about righteousness turns to ANGER and our anger gives way to HATE. May God help us to be passionate about LOVE so that we may be PATIENT, KIND, and GENTLE.
I posted the above quote on Facebook this week in response to the myriad of posts regarding the Chick-fil-A controversy. I support the free speech of Dan Cathy and of the hundreds of thousands who offered a peaceful protest by eating at Chick-fil-A. I also support the free speech of those who are opposed to my view. After all, free speech is reciprocal. If we are going to have a serious civic conversation, then we must be willing to allow all sides to be engaged in the discussion.
However, I strongly resist the notion that those of us who oppose the acceptance of homosexual marriage hate homosexuals. Now, I will admit that there is a lot of hate out there – on both sides. But, to suggest that everyone who resist the homosexual agenda is motivated by hate is a serious, and untrue charge.
To explain, allow me to return to Dan Cathy’s full remarks: “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.” I wonder how many of those who dined at Chick-fil-A on Wednesday were aware that Cathy’s remarks included a protest against the culture of divorce? I have previously written about that, so I won’t restate my case here. The point is that it is possible to resist an immoral culture and simultaneously love those who are living in that culture and victimized by it.
As a Christian pastor I teach that any sex outside the covenant of marriage is sinful. But I certainly don’t hate those who commit fornication. As a pastor I am charged with their care. I may gently rebuke them, and strongly encourage them to repent. If they refuse, then I may remove them from a place of leadership in our local church. If they repent, then I will work to “restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness” (Galatians 6:1). But I will never disrespect a person who has fallen into sin. Motivated by the love of Christ, I will do all that I can to care for them.
As a Christian pastor I teach that divorce is sinful. Jesus said that divorce is the result of “hardness of heart” (Matthew 19:8). We live in a culture of no-fault divorce. Most of the Christians I know have suffered from divorce. Many of my colleagues in ministry have suffered from divorce. As a pastor I am charged with their care. I will offer encouragement and counsel. I will make every effort to discourage a troubled couple from seeking a divorce. I will continue to teach that Christian marriage is one woman and one man for a lifetime. But I will never disrespect a divorced person.
As a Christian pastor I teach that abortion is the sinful destruction of human life. Through the years I have offered spiritual counsel to young women contemplating abortion. In most cases, they decided to protect the sanctity of their womb, and the life within. However, I have also counseled with those who aborted the life within their womb. As a pastor I am charged with the soul care of those who have been traumatized by such decisions.
As a Christian pastor I teach that homosexuality is sinful. The Scripture and the theological tradition of the Christian faith agree that homosexuality is an indecent act that leads to depravity and dishonors the human body (Romans 1:24-28). Also, I continue to oppose the agenda of homosexual marriage in any form. As a pastor I am charged with the soul care of any homosexual that seeks my counsel. I have counseled with those who struggle with this sexual predisposition. I have friends who have died from AIDS. I welcome homosexuals to attend our church. Motivated by the love of Christ, I will not disrespect them; I will do all that I can to care for them.
As I care for those who have been injured by the consequences of sinful behavior I experience deep emotions of sorrow and grief. I am grieved by the children who suffer from the sexually immoral behavior of their parents. I am grieved by the men and women who have suffered the betrayal of their spouses and suffer divorce. I am grieved by those traumatized by the violence of abortion. And, I am grieved for those who struggle with their sexual orientation and find no care from those charged with their soul care. I experience sorrow and grief because I choose the grace of love over the self-righteousness of anger and hate.
So, after we have made our protest by dining at Chick-fil-A, how are we going to provide soul care to sinners? How are we going to have a serious conversation with our young people about resisting the temptation of sexual immorality, be it heterosexual fornication or homosexuality? How are we going to guide and counsel our young adults so they can build strong relationships of mutual trust and self-giving that is demanded of the marital covenant? And, how are we going to convince those who struggle with homosexuality that they can find soul care in the church if all they hear is anger and hate?
If we are to follow the example of Christ and be serious about the care of sinful souls, we will have to do more than protest and vote. Our formal declarations and resolutions may affirm what we believe and what we oppose. But how are we going to care for souls? Until we seriously address this question we will be nothing but white-washed tombs (Matthew 23:27-29).
